Single, 42-year-old businesswoman breaks down, gives up feminism to find a husband


Lisa Stingley was supposed to be happy.

An accomplished career woman with a hunting business in Washington, she was like a superstar in some people’s books. There’s “a glamour” to women working outside the home, she says. Yet, strangely, the feminist values ​​Stingley once revered—for achieving success, a genuine sense of accomplishment—suddenly rang hollow.

Something was missing.

Then 42 – not a man in sight – Stingley panicked, broke down and decided she wanted to get married. “You come home to an empty apartment,” she told The Epoch Times. “I used to have breakdowns when something broke in my house, I had so much resentment. A man should fix that! But the guy she was praying for was rare in the ‘hyper-career environment’ of DC His breakdown was a sign of exit.

A total transformation of her careerist views followed, delivering her from the “feminist wasteland” in which she was mired. It took humility and digging deep, but she rebuilt herself and rebuilt everything she thought she knew about womanhood. It was worth it, she said. Some things are rooted; the sooner you embrace them, the better. The year was 2002 when her embrace began.

A race for a husband

Stingley’s off-ramp led to Texas, where she moved in with her sister and brother-in-law in Irving. A resignation followed her: that she would choose from a group of “broken people”, but that never happened. Maybe things weren’t so bad after all. “My sister and her husband were plotting to find me a husband, and normally that would have humiliated me,” she said. “But I’m like, ‘Plot away!'”

Stingley was very ready – or so she thought.

Within two months, in August, his sister and brother-in-law, running enthusiasts, connected Stingley with a runner at the Fort Worth Runners’ Club’s annual Labor Day race. . Richard, aerospace engineer, was not broken; they got along well and, in December, they got married, although their happily ever after didn’t happen overnight.

(Courtesy of Lisa Stingley)
Epoch Times Photo
(Courtesy of Lisa Stingley)

That old Stingley job — like a perverse testosterone treatment — had made her masculine, she says. This dynamism, so intoxicating in the corporate world, now confronted both her husband and a harmonious marriage.

“I was loud, I was loud. I gave off, I call it, ‘repellent’, ‘male repellent,'” she said. “I was so controlling. … I think the culture encourages men to be controlled and to be submissive, which I didn’t want. So I was determined not to. But it took years.

“I had to become more feminine.”

Her chronic scrutinizing Richard didn’t do well, despite her own feminist leanings. There was only room for one tigress on this mountain, but she made up for it in time: the feminist teaches to keep men “wrapped around your finger”; she rejected it. Honestly, women are “repelled by male weakness,” she admitted. “But they can’t stop destroying their own nest.”

Turning her gaze inward, she stared at herself first. As she changed, he changed. And peace followed.

Epoch Times Photo
(Courtesy of Lisa Stingley)

Stingley cultivated femininity on purpose. She stopped “despising feminine things” like doing dinner parties, but humbly embraced the vibe of the house. “Put on the dress, put on the earrings, shave your armpits, do your hair and love it,” she said, adding, “Be chaste.”

The media dismantles the marriage?

If “being chaste” seems out of place today, Stingley, a devout Christian, knows why. Television and the media, in addition to spouting feminism, slaughter women by glorifying promiscuity. Single women act like wives—do laundry, have sex, cook meals” – goes against what men were created to do, says Stingley, which is “to honor you, to sacrifice for you”.

Uplifting yourself uplifts others around you, including men, bringing them “to who they were meant to be,” she added. “The men you want to marry will love it. And he gets that ring on your finger in record time.

The way the media portrays relationships seems tilted, most visibly, toward dismantling marriage. Those who have affairs are “extremely happy”, observed Stingley. The homosexual component of couples? “Very happy.” The married couple? “To hate oneself.”

Men too are harmed by the scourge of feminism. When women become like men, men say sayonara.

“They just leave society, they just don’t get married, they play video games,” Stingley said. “When they feel alienated from society, by women, belittled – it’s the season open to men – they leave and there is no one to marry. But women can get it back…they will easily come back to life.

For eons, women have accepted having both babies and husbands, she adds. Traditional mothers were the backbone of nations. Sacrificed men. “We lost sight of that,” Stingley said. “We are so independent that we dare not depend on another human being. And I think that hurts. It’s a risk-free attitude.

Turn women into wives

This month of August marks 20 years since their first meeting. Stingley, now 63, gives their marriage a 10 out of 10, a far cry from the rocky “1 or 2” when they started.

Over the years, she has connected with like-minded, marriage-seeking women through the Feminist Fallacy website, the Girls’ Night Out support group, and the Christian singles outreach she founded for her friends. loners in DC. She helped women deal with the ubiquitous, but easily dispersed, notion: “It’s easier to be struck by lightning, than for a woman over 40 to get married.”

Today, Stingley continues to cultivate the traditional feminine traits she espouses so much.

Epoch Times Photo
(Courtesy of Lisa Stingley)

What words does she have for young beauties still budding in their twenties, with their whole lives ahead of them, full of potential?

“I don’t want them to go through what I went through, what my friends went through,” Stingley said. “Marriage is risky. … But don’t tell me it’s not worth it. You can get fired from a job, it’s a risk. But what could be more devastating? What is most worth the risk?

In short: avoiding the abyss, and the feminist lies she fell for. Embrace the tradition, which has preserved societies for eons. Get an education? Yes, it is important, says Stingley. A career? Of course, working a bit before marriage can lead to a greater appreciation for what it offers.

Family is “the essence of life,” she added. “You won’t have to panic when Christmas rolls around and you have nowhere to go. … Just do it. Don’t marry just anyone, but you have options. And don’t be afraid to be traditional.

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